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Thor: The Rushed World
Hiddlesworth
zodgory
No, I'm not trying to make a reference back to Rush (even though I wish I could've been watching that movie instead for the fifth time). That's just how the movie felt. Now despite my negative tone, I actually quite liked it, but there are some things that factor into that.

My choice of companion to visit Thor in his natural habitat was none other than my dear mother at the last second. I wasn't even sure if I was going to see this thing at midnight, but she said she was down for it (she'll watch any movie I want to because of a long story I'm not divulging right now) and that she wanted to stare at Hemsworth's handsome face (I love that we can agree on this). Good enough reasons.

The next factor isn't exactly a winning endorsement. My expectations for this film were in the shitter. They have been ever since Comic-Con when basically all the behind-the-scenes guys expressed more enthusiasm for Captain America than the movie coming out in less than six months. Honestly, I've had my suspicious issues ever since Patty Jenkins got booted off the project.

So with these two things (and a Carl's Jr meal) I entered the theater, and I came out thoroughly entertained. It was pretty silly and dumb in certain areas, but what I enjoyed, I LOVED.

If the first film hurried along in terms of plot and character development, then this film looked at its predecessor and smirked before going even faster. Things just happen, and you sort of just have to accept it and sink into its nonsensicalness or else your neck will snap trying to keep up.

I wasn't too fond of the comedic moments. They made for awkward transitions and took away from the attempted drama of the film. They also lessened the impact of certain scenes. Less time with the intern's intern and maybe more time for the main antagonist and his crazy dark space jizz would have been good.

Despite my own irrational reasons for disliking Portman, I liked Jane just like in the first movie. She even did stuff this time around! Sure, she spent lots of time as a McGuffin, but the end helped where she proved resourceful and full of science.

But now that I've brought up the McGuffin, I just have to get off my chest how incredibly lazy it was. I don't even understand what the hell was pulling Jane into the closet of wormholes. And then she just ends up at the feet of the space jizz!? Great hiding place, Bor. And speaking of Bor, fuck you, Feige, for making it sound like Thor would be learning the dark truth about his ancestors. Nope. He just learned that they were sort of stupid and that his dad's a dickhead. No epic Lord of the Rings revelations there. He wasn't exactly filled with angst about what an idiot Bor was for just hiding the space jizz away.

And you know what else Feige can fuck himself over? Hogun. I was excited to hear that he was getting some added character details that deviated from canon. But NOPE. All that was to simply write off the character and have him be elsewhere while the main action went down in Asgard. What did Tadanobu Asano ever do to you? And he was looking so fine too!

And the screenwriters/people in charge can also shove barbed wire sticks up their ass for fridging Frigga. Just...ugh. They highlight how wonderful and motherly she is just to kill her in order to bring her two bickering sons together. And then they undercut her funeral scene with Stan Lee's usual cameo.

And now that I think I've got all my griping out of the way, the stuff I liked.

Basically, all the Thor and Loki stuff. My little shipper heart was full of joy. They somewhat aired their grievances and had conflict-resolution. THEY WORKED TOGETHER! They addressed their shit somewhat. Thor said nice things about his shithead brother. Loki said nice-ish things at the end. Thor saved his bro. He also manhandled him. Everything was great.

So yeah. I enjoyed it. It was entertaining. Big old bag of dumb fun.

Ultimately, I'll probably just wait for the edited version that's just the brothers interacting.

Bonus things
-I'm so fucking excited for Guardians of the Galaxy. Sif and Volstagg looked so out of place and how the hell did they even get there but whatever! Does Thor know? Does this mean he might show up in Guardians? That would make me happy.
-Alan Taylor can shut the fuck up about the mid-credits scene. James Gunn is having fun, and it shows.
-That cameo was high-lair-ious

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